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Every relationship has its own difficulties; it just happens that when the military’s involved, there’s a special breed of inevitable obstacles that spring up.

And I think, when you start out dating someone, you rarely think about everything that is coming down the pike.

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Expect sleepless nights, and bouts of being on the receiving end of awkward silences. You need to try your hardest to understand, get him to eventually talk about it (preferably to a professional) and pretty much avoid all triggers — like war movies. You will be inundated with more random facts about places like the Middle East or the South than you care to cram into your brain. I won a round of trivia just because I knew the currency in Bahrain. I am a sucker for someone who is passionate about his work. They are modern day heroes; if that’s not something to be proud of, I’m not quite sure what is! Basically, dating a Generation Y military man is no different than dating anyone else. His may be unimaginable to you, but that does not make him any better or worse.

And I want to be clear: those of us who date or marry someone in the military are no better or worse than any other significant other.During John’s deployment, I had more than my fair share of people asking me if we were cheating on each other or if we had ever entertained the idea. If you need physical touch and constant communication so that you won’t stray, you need to do some soul-searching. If you have a hard time being resilient in the face of challenge (and if you’re not willing to try to be), the military lifestyle probably isn’t for you.Being apart is hard, but it shouldn’t be hard to stay faithful. Uniforms are cute and all and ceremonies are exciting, but really, if you’re attached to the rank rather than the person, do yourself a favor and get out now.They can be tough for people in the most exclusive, committed relationships.If you know that you want to be with that person and you’re committed, then go for it! If your whole identity is wrapped up solely in your service member, it is going to be a tough, lonely life.

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